Kerry Dugento's Experience of a Pakistani Wedding

The Three Days of a Traditional Wedding

Mehndi	This is the event where you put Henna on the bride and groom's hands. This event is very colorful and full of traditional songs and dances. It is spread over 2 days - one day over at the groom's place to put Henna on groom's hand and the second day over at the bride's house to put Henna on her hand. Sometimes, both parties agree to have a single function on just one day and split the cost.
Nikah/Shadi	This part of the ceremony is given by the bride's family.
Nikah	This is the signing of official paperwork in the presence of a Molvi (Islamic priest). After signing these papers and doing some religious ceremony, the couple is declared husband and wife.
Shadi	This is the actual wedding ceremony and all guests are invited. Nikah is performed in the presence of the guests and then they eat (suprise, surprise).
Walima	The groom's side invites all the guests to meet on this, the third day. Both husband and wife welcome the guests and mingle around with them while people eat dinner.

I went to two or three Mehndi. They are usually held at the bride's house. Around the time of the wedding, it's always easy to find the bride's house. It, and the nearby trees, lamposts, and bushes, are covered with strings of white lights. It's an ostentatious display that only American Christmases can rival.

Somewhere on the property they set up a tent, which is also filled hundreds of bright hot lights. During the winter, they are run by a generator because, being the dry season, the power could be cut off at any minute. The men and women would dance and sing in their seperate tents. The women were allowed to relax a little and behave as they might not in public.

The bride had a symbolic gift placed in the middle of the room called Mehndi (named after the day). I never quite figured out the significance, but here are pictures of two of them. The bride's outfit is very elaborate. The bride dressed like this on the second and third days of the wedding. I noticed she did not lift her eyes and look at people.

I enjoyed the wedding ceremonies. At one point, I tried on the men's traditional wedding hat But, when we actually went to the weddings, I wore the shelvar qameez. I found them quite comfortable and even took a few back with me.

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